Victim?
Billie Jean King has a lot of famous sayings. Among my favorites are:
"want the ball !"
"for me, losing a tennis match isn't failure, it's research"
"pressure is a privilege"
What does that last one mean? Several things. It means that if you are in the match, and still in the tournament, playing well enough to feel the pressure- then you are in an enviable place. You are doing well, and it is a privilege to be there. People who aren't achieving at that level don't get to feel that, and so aren't enjoying the privilege of feeling the pressure to win.
But an even more significant observation is to imagine the people who aren't competing at all. Maybe they don't have the family resources to afford our expensive sport. After all, racquets, shoes, strings, entry fees, travel to events with associated hotels, restaurants, etc are all very costly. Maybe their parents have to work that day, and can't drive them to the out of town event. Maybe they aren't able-bodied and don't get to compete in some sports - or maybe they're just not good enough. For whatever reason, those who do get to experience the pressure of competition are indeed privileged, and need to remember that EVERY time they get the opportunity to feel that pressure.
This is one of the most avoidable, yet prevalent behaviors in many of our young players. They act like they are a victim. You've all seen it. " Oh, poor me. Here I go again, blowing a lead, or double faulting." Or, " I am so unlucky, why do all the let cords fall on my side?" The hands go up, the head rolls back, the pouting walk begins, exhibiting body language to their opponent that says " you win. I'm done." Or they fly into a rage, stomping, crying, yelling, or whatever; because they want everyone to know that THEY think they are better than they are currently performing. The worst, is the one we call the Eeyore (depressed donkey of Winnie the Pooh fame)- long face, ever present rain cloud overhead, and the slump shouldered walk of the " victim", facing the injustice of the world coming to an end. As the effort and confidence plummet, the player can't escape the negative self talk of "I can't hit a ball", "My serve won't go in", or "this kid always trees against me".
Really? You're the victim? I don't think so. You are the lucky, the fortunate, the privileged. Yes, you may be having a bad day, and your performance may not be up to your expectations, but you are competing in a sport you are supposed to love. You are enjoying the drama of human competition, and the joy (should be ) of striving to reach a goal. Instead of thinking about your weak backhand, or the cruel wind, when things don't seem to be going your way in a match, try thinking about all the kids who don't know where their next meal might come from. Or the person undergoing chemo in the hospital while you bang tennis balls around. Or maybe even the kid who you see at the courts that's NEVER going to have the skills to compete at the level you are now struggling at. Or the kid who needed to go help his parent pick tomatoes, ( mow grass, rake leaves, feed animals, mop floors, panhandle at Wal- mart, etc) If you can cast your mind to these less fortunate fellow human beings for the smallest moment, I feel confident you won't pout, slump, or play the " Victim" in any way. You will pull your shoulders back, realize how incredibly lucky you are to be out there competing, and get back to the business of fighting for every point.
Is pressure a privilege? It certainly is for a junior tennis player. You are not a victim, you need to stop acting like a victim, and learn to love the battle. The sooner you do, the better your results, the higher the satisfaction, and the higher your sense of accomplishment and self-esteem. After all, isn't that why you put yourself into these pressure situations?
